Maribeth Doerr

Shades of Healing ~ Creating a Wholehearted Life

WriteGrief has launched and other less interesting tidbits

Can you believe January is nearly over already?!  It’s raining as I write this, I hear a plunk plunk plunk as it leaks through the ceiling into my office.  But it’s delicious moisture that my area needs so badly to avoid a more serious drought this Summer.  It’s also the new moon and so I’m happy to share something new with you . . .

WriteGrief has launched following WriteGrief for the holidays.  If you enjoy writing or exploring your innermost self and you’re grieving, you’ll find WriteGrief helpful (although, it’s not always easy, it’s not always fun, and I know some of you will call me names with some of these prompts 🙂  It’s okay; I won’t get offended!).  Even if you don’t enjoy writing, these prompts can work for you because you don’t have to be a writer to do them.  In fact, it works  best when you’re NOT fussy about editing and spelling and grammar and all the rules I’ve just abused this sentence.  Letting go and digging deep without regard to grammar or any other rules can make a cloudy merky grief filled mind find clarity as you see your words in black and white.  It’s been a lifesaver for me, and I hope it will be for you as well.

So without further ado, here are the details for WriteGrief over on my Permission to Grieve site:  http://www.permissiontogrieve.com/?page_id=92  I am SO excited about finally offering this to you.

What else am I up to?  I am a yoga teacher in training!  Can you believe it – and at my age??  Some days I think I’m totally nuts.  It is my dream, though, to teach yoga to grieving folks and those struggling with whatever it is they’re struggling with.  Grief has such physical symptoms that we don’t realize; we tend to furl up into ourselves hiding our hearts from further pain.  Yoga and movement can help us unfurl, unstress, and connect with your hearts again.  It’s a gentle opening and that is so very healing.  We can learn to breathe with our entire lungs again instead of taking sips of air with the very tops of our lungs.  As you can probably tell, I’m passionate about this and I can’t wait to bring it to you.

Last but not least, a beautiful share from David Gilmour as he sings Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18 . . . Enjoy

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WriteGrief for the Holidays

WriteGrief for the Holidays is over until November 2014.

In the meantime, try WriteGrief weekly prompts. Details here.

Announcing a new offering – Write Grief for the Holidays: Weekly prompts encouraging a self-exploration of healing and grief.

Grief can often leave us numb, and it can be hard to articulate the simplest things. You may feel that there are no words to express your feelings, that it’s all just a big knot in your throat or your heart and everything is stuck there. Writing can be an outlet for these knotted up feelings, a way of unraveling the stuck. I have often found writing to be a new way of seeing my thoughts in black and white which brings more clarity to the muddy chaos of grief.

Once a week, you’ll receive a writing prompt which you are free to use – or not. Write a lot, or write a little. Share it – or not. It’s all up to you. We will have a private Facebook group where you can share your writing if you wish. Here’s a sample prompt:

“If I could sit across the porch from God, I’d thank Him for lending me you.” ~Flavia
Prompt: If you could sit across the porch from your loved one, what would you thank him/her for? For 5 minutes, write a list of what you’d like to thank your loved one for. After 5 minutes, circle a few items on the list that really grab your attention. Then spend however long you like writing a letter to your loved one focusing on one or two of those items you circled.

Our first session will run from November 4 through December 29 – 8 prompts with a focus on the holidays. The cost for these 8 weeks is $25. You can join anytime before the end of 2013; previous prompts will be sent to you so that you receive the full 8 weeks of prompts.

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If you would like to schedule a one-on-one coaching call to discuss anything that comes up during your writing, the discounted price for WriteGrief participants is $50 for a 45 minute session.

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In January, WriteGrief will continue with weekly prompts available as a month-to-month-subscription. Details here!

Questions?

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A Gift for the Weekend

heaven

 

This was taken at a fabulous restaurant called Nepenthe in Big Sur, California.  We were eating outside facing this view in early evening.  There is a blue jay in the tree and dolphins were splashing around in the Pacific.  About as close to paradise as you can be!  When I’m feeling stressed, which happens a lot these days, I take a deep breath and pull in this image.  It never fails to helps me feel better.

What do you do to help bring a sense of calmness to your stressed out self?  I’d love to hear your methods.

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Looking for Beauty

December has always been a difficult month for me.  I talk about it a bit in this video.  This year, we have the added shock and horror of the Sandy Hook Elementary shootings.  With so much ugliness and sorrow, it’s very easy to forget there IS, there truly is, beauty in this world.

Because I’ve been sucked up into a pity party pit lately because of my health (and yada yada yada), I went on a mission to find ways to feed my soul beyond my usual morning meditation and afternoon yoga.   Music tends to work wonders so blasting the tunes while I’ve been painting and scraping in my future ZenRoom helps a lot.  But I really needed some visual beauty – and then I found this:

If you actually watched that (and listened), you might have a new view of “Oh my God!”  Beautiful, isn’t it?  Worthy of a deep healing sigh . . .  If you skipped over the video, give yourself a 9+ minute gift and enjoy it.  I KNOW you have 9 minutes to do it and it’s worth it, trust me.

From my heart to yours, blessings this holiday season.   And if you have an extra minute, tell me where you find the beauty in this challenging world.

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Friday Finds – MantraWave

MantraWave from Eric Klein

One of the things I want to do with my blog is share resources that I think are extraordinary.  There’s so much “stuff” to weed through on the internet and it’s hard to know what’s worth it and what’s best to skip.  I’m going to share some of my gold mine finds, and today’s priceless gem is MantraWave.

I have been a fan of Eric Klein’s WisdomHeart.org site for the past year.  He produces products that speak to my soul, and his newest, MantraWave, is probably my favorite.  I’d like to share my experience with you.

In late July, Eric launched MantraWave, and I purchased it right away.  He has three programs:  Removing Obstacles, Love, and Wealth.  I was looking for one for health as I was, at the time, experiencing severe pain and illness.  I was in the hospital in June and was released without a diagnosis and with prescriptions for pain killers and anti-nausea medicine.  By mid-July, I was feeling desperate.  The medication wasn’t working, I was spending hours curled up in a ball in excruciating pain and unable to really function very well.  I decided to purchase all three of Eric’s programs because I needed to remove the obstacles to my health, I needed to cultivate love for myself and the doctor who misdiagnosed me, and I wanted a wealth of health.  It seemed to me all three programs were for me!

For a week, I listened to them, selecting whichever one spoke the loudest.  I didn’t sit in meditation with them very often but I did lie on my bed with headphones, cradling myself in such gentle notes and chants.  Within that week, I started to experience a change.  My pain was still there and escalating but when an attack would hit, I could hear the mantras enter my consciousness and the result was a soothing I hadn’t been able to find before.  It was something for me to grab onto and gently flow with the wave of the mantra instead of grabbing onto the pain and collapsing onto myself.

On August 8, I was admitted to the hospital again.  The next day, I had surgery on my bile duct.  As they wheeled me in my hospital bed to the pre-op area, I was constantly vomiting, which from a laying down position does terrible things to stomach muscles and neck muscles; I pulled them all out!  The anesthesiologist met us in the pre-op area and was trying to come up with a cocktail of drugs to stop the vomiting long enough for him to knock me out without risking aspiration.  It was a tense time and then the mantra for removing obstacles started flowing through my brain.  It just came to me without any conscious thought whatsoever.  I focused on that sweet sound and my poor traumatized system calmed down on its own.  The anesthesiologist and nurses asked me what I had just done because the difference was night and day.

As I regained consciousness in the recovery room following surgery, I awoke to hearing the MantraWave for love.  I was bathed in such self-acceptance at that moment that I knew I would be okay.  I’ve had a long recovery but MantraWave made it faster than it would have been.  I am absolutely sure of this.  The way the mantras come into my consciousness without me calling it in, is amazing.  It’s always the MantraWave I need to hear most.  It is, in short, a blessing and such a gift.

So what is MantraWave?  It’s sacred sound meditation.   The mantras are set to beautiful relaxing music.  On Eric’s website, he says, “Each program is designed to awaken – within you – a specific quality, awareness, and capacity.”  This is why the mantra I most need at the time floats into my consciousness without me calling it.  You can sit in meditation and listen to them or you can play them wherever you are.  When I listen, my heart rate slows, and my heart just opens wide.  I often find myself saying or singing the mantras silently as I go about my day.  I might go a few days and not think about them, and then suddenly, always when I need them most, they’re there.

The programs come in 10 minute sessions, 10 minute guided sessions, 30 minute guided sessions and 60 minutes.   I think perhaps they should come with a warning . . . peace starts here.  🙂

Please visit WisdomHeart.org and learn more about MantraWave.  These programs have had such an incredible impact on my life.  Thank you Eric and Devi!

P.S. – This is not a paid endorsement.  I receive no remuneration for my comments here.  I just want to share information about an extraordinary product that truly helped me.

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Getting REALLY Personal – Cultivating a New Body Image

Mari at 15

Me at 15. I thought I had the fattest thighs on the planet.

Anyone who has known me since before I turned 50 knows I struggled dearly with my body image. It probably started when I was little, and my mom enjoyed telling me stories about the aunties coming to visit us when I was a baby just see the size of my thighs. I know lots of you have similar stories of growing up thinking you were the biggest/fattest kid on the planet. I was the first kid in my fifth grade class to hit 100 lbs (boy or girl!). I can’t remember how tall I was because nobody cared; I weighed 100 lbs that’s all that mattered! When I graduated from high school, I was 5’ 5” and 118 lbs. Yeah, real fat. But those old stories were so embedded in my psyche that my mirror told a different story.

When I was 23, I had an emergency c-section. They had lost the baby’s heartbeat while prepping me and all hell broke loose in the operating room. Suddenly I was being ripped open from navel to pubic bone (I felt it since they hadn’t had time to knock me out yet) and my 9lb 13oz son was born not breathing. He was resuscitated and taken to NICU where he died 5 ½ days later. The incision was long, the baby large and putting the skin back together was messy. Too much skin, not enough space to make a flat scar without the baby to hold it up. It healed, but it looked bad by anyone’s standards. Every time I looked at my body, I saw a scar that was a potent reminder of how I had failed to bring a healthy baby into the world. Losing Mark Adam was my second loss; Andrew was lost at 19+ weeks three years earlier. Not only did I think my body was ugly but I believed it had betrayed me in the worst possible way, twice.

More losses, another baby in NICU (he survived!), a hysterectomy, constantly yo-yoing weight, and in 2004, I nearly died from pancreatitis and a gallbladder infection. More body betrayal. Was I broken or what? I started wearing baggy clothes and forgetting what I looked like naked. It’s not important if you have a guy who loves you, right? (Don’t buy into that, okay? We look good for ourselves, not others, and we also can look bad for ourselves. I was making myself look bad because I thought that’s how it should be.)

As I hit 50, I began to make peace with my body. I think that’s a common denominator for women over 50. Maybe it’s an I don’t give a rat’s ass mindset or maybe it’s just realizing that life is too short to worry about the size of our thighs! It was a VERY slow process for me but it was progress. In February 2012, I started the Creative Grief Coaching Studio’s certification program. One of our “tools” was to create a body image painting (on our body!) and video the process. It was optional but I felt it would be a wonderful opportunity to really make peace with my body. It was amazing! It was truly life-changing, and I don’t say that lightly. I had a huge aha moment at the end (and making the video was fraught with so many technical issues I nearly abandoned the project several times!). I shared my video with my classmates, and they were so incredibly supportive. I am taking a leap by sharing it here with you now which also shows how much I’ve progressed with my body image. Gulp.

This is the video and the password is markadam.  It is a HUGE leap for me to share this video publicly so please be kind. ♥

Since this video was made in March 2012, I have lost over 30 lbs, unintentionally. I posted about my illness here. I was hospitalized again in August, had a surgical procedure on my bile duct, and am doing much better. My intestines and liver were very traumatized by the illness and vomiting for over two months so it’s been a long road to recovery since the surgery. I’m getting there. I still battle nausea and some pain but it’s much better. I’m still detoxing and the medications really do a number on my head. Sometimes I feel like my brain has completely atrophied! I am starting to get some quality sleep finally, which helps immensely with my thinking abilities. I hope to get back to work full-time sometime next week or at least a solid part-time. It will depend on how many mistakes I make the first day 😉

Through this, I thought about body betrayal a little bit.  It used to be such a huge thing in my life and it’s not a surprise that it would pop up again.  With everything else going on, why did I have to lose my health as well?  However, most of the time, I think about how this experience has taught me many things . . .  good self-care, patience with myself and for those who are tired of a very slow me (sorry StorkNetters), that there are ways to comfort myself that don’t involve food . . . I have to eat a rather restrictive diet but I’m learning to accept what a gift that is. I can’t put preservatives or poisons or processed food into my body anymore. My allergies are amazingly better when I don’t consume grains! Who knew?! I’ve been on allergy medication for 30 years and now I don’t need it.  Maybe my asthma will go away in time as well.  I have to be honest though and say I did fight this HARD. I wanted to eat what I wanted when I wanted because food was a comfort and with everything else going on in my life, I felt entitled to that one thing and damned if it wasn’t taken away too!!!! Whine, snivel, moan and COMPLAIN.  When that feeling fires up inside, I’ve learned to sit quietly somewhere and just sit with it – no judgments – just leaning into it a bit (not falling into it mind you). It would seem that feeling just wants to be heard and when I acknowledge it without judgment, it quietly moves off into the sunset. It tends to come back, but I just wash, rinse, repeat . . .

In case you’re thinking I’m lucky to have lost 30 lbs quickly, please don’t. I made a very short video on that too . . . meant to be silly. I can be VERY silly. But, this is also a sign of how I’m learning to embrace my body, bitch-slapping arms and all!

Because I have lost so much muscle with this weight loss, my strength and energy have much to be desired. I started a weekly yoga class to start building back some of that muscle. I do my best to keep up but I also honor where my body is at so I don’t overdo – another exercise in listening to my body and good self-care.  I tend to sleep for two days after a class!  Yesterday while we were in a supported shoulder stand, I looked up at my legs and a few tears started to flow down my cheeks. I was struck by the feeling that I LOVED my body. I’ve NEVER said that to myself – EVER. It was such an overpowering feeling. Despite the losses, scars, illnesses . . . it’s MINE and it has served me well.  It’s a beautiful body, warts and all!

And so is yours!

So please remind me of this post when I forget 😉  I would love to hear your body image stories and how you’ve cultivate love for your beautiful body.  ♥

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#reverb10 – Body integration

http://www.reverb10.com

December 12 – Body integration.
This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?

In October, I did Marianne Elliott’s 30 Days of Yoga. It was an amazing experience for me, and it finally—after years of doing yoga—clicked that yoga is so much more than exercise. On the mat, my mind and body connect, merge, blend and freaking rejoice. It’s not always that way by any means, but when I do hit the mat even if it’s simply savasana, I feel better – and yes, alive and present.

My meditation practice is also becoming more consistent, especially when I follow davidji’s advice to rise, pee, meditate. Even if I spend 5 minutes sitting quietly on my bed before starting my day, the entire day feels better.

My yoga practice also flows better when I spend time in meditation or simply sitting quietly for five minutes before starting my yoga.

Hey – anything that calms the monkey mind chatter helps me integrate with my body. My body isn’t very demanding; unfortunately, that means I don’t listen to it until it yells at me. Yoga is the one thing I’ve found that helps me listen to my body.

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Gratitude Month – Day 26 –The Love More Project

Over the summer, I was looking through the shows on Blog Talk Radio and found one on eating intuitively.  I clicked it on and was so impressed with honesty of the hosts.  When the show was over, I looked at the host information and discovered The Love More Project.  This simple discovery was Angel-sent . . .

Several years ago when I was the director for Pen-Parents (a support network for bereaved parents), it was common for members to send me gifts of angel statues, ornaments and books.  I started reading a lot about angels and was fascinated with books by Joan Wester Anderson and Terry Lynn Taylor.  When I moved on from Pen-Parents, the angel gifts stopped and as I got busy as a work at home mom and StorkNet, I moved away from the fascination with angels.

I’m certain now that my angels have been trying to get my attention for years, and it was their guidance that brought me to that radio show on a hot summer morning when I was procrastinating something I needed to do.  That show wasn’t even about angels although the hosts—Megan Gala and Gabe Hanson—certainly mentioned angels.    When the show was over, I noticed that it was produced by The Love More Project and that they hosted several shows throughout the week.  I had to know more.

The Love More Project was founded by Megan Gala who is an Angel Therapy Practitioner® certified by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D.   The Love More Project radio channel on Blog Talk Radio is just one aspect of The Love More Project.  Check out their website and read their monthly magazine.  They have a page on Facebook, and other offerings.  It’s all truly beautiful, and wouldn’t you agree the world needs more love?  LMP is working on just that by helping us love ourselves more so we can spread that love around.

The early morning show Monday through Friday is called Angel Awakenings, and we are blessed for 30 minutes with Tana Newberry.  My husband calls her the Angel Lady and if I oversleep, he brings me my laptop so we can listen to her show.  We’ve gotten into the habit of dedicating our day together as Tana instructs her listeners and the end of the show.  It’s amazing what a difference dedicating your day makes, and it’s become something special and even intimate for my husband and me. ♥

At 11am, Megan hosts a variety of shows, (currently The Healing Perspective with Sunita Newberry, Everyday Wisdom, Updates from the Realms and The Angel Hour with co-host Tana Newberry).  I have learned so much from these shows and I’m so grateful to be back in the warm embrace of my angels, this time with my husband sharing that embrace.  I could go on and on about what a difference this has made in my life!

And I have to give a big shout out to the LMP radio channel chatters.  It is THE best chat room on Blog Talk Radio with warm, compassionate, funny and amazing listeners.  There is truly nothing like it on the internet!

Thank you Megan, Tana, all the other LMP radio channel co-hosts, and the amazing chat room chatters.  Your love and compassion is making the world a kinder, gentler place. ♥

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Support Stories ~ Strength from Within Round Robin!

Support Stories

Support Stories Round Robin

The holidays are right around the corner – for better or worse. I can’t say that I’ve always been a cheery holiday person, even as a child. We had some crappy Christmases when I was little, and then, in 1982, I found out I’d be having a December baby. Wow! What a chance to change my Scrooge attitude! My sweet little man arrived silently in the wee hours of December 11, and died five days later. Mark was born on a Saturday, buried the next Saturday, and Christmas was the following Saturday.

That first Christmas was a blur. I know we went to visit some relatives but I don’t remember who or what we did. The next year, however, as soon as Halloween was over, when stores cleared out the leftover costumes and candy, I was blasted with how empty my heart was while the rest of the world (or so it seemed) was shopping, partying, eating, and having a grand ole time. The commercialism of the season was enough to make me a bigger bah-humbugger than Scrooge, but when I thought about Jesus and the “reason for the season,” my heart really broke. Christmas is celebrating the birth of a baby boy, and mine was gone.

I admit I was a complete and unapologetic bah-humbugger for a long time – years actually. Even when I had living sons to celebrate with, I still struggled through the holidays, wearing my heart on my sleeve. I kept it to myself, not wanting to spoil anyone’s cheer or damper my little boys’ Christmas, but it was HARD.

One year, as I was journaling through baby Mark’s birthday, I was thinking about the gifts he and his life have given me. It finally came to me that it was another gift of his that he was born and died in December. I remember Mark’s gifts to me more during this season of giving and receiving gifts. Perhaps his legacy wouldn’t have been so powerful for me if he had been born and died at some other time. I’ll never know, but I’m now grateful Mark came to me when he did . . . my very perfect Christmas present, my forever baby. His gifts have never stopped coming and usually in the most wonderful and surprising ways.

This change of perspective was what it took for me to toss my bah-humbugger attitude aside in favor of remembering the love in my heart. I can get through the holidays now with less bottled up anger and frustration.

With that said, I’m not going to tell you that I am ecstatic over the holidays . . . no. I still hate the commercialism and mindless gift giving. But when I need to be out amongst the hoards of shoppers or attend parties and family gatherings, I simply choose to modify my attitude to one of gratitude and love. For those few hours, I can breathe deeply, slow down my monkey mind, and find joy in the moment—I’m there in the moment. When that time is up, I’m free to go back to whatever mood the monkey mind wants. Often though, because I’ve made the effort, I feel exhausted and I rely on my little list of self-care tools:

• Watch a funny movie with my sweetie
• Read a delicious novel
• Yoga (although if the outing involved eating, this won’t work)
• Meditating for 15 minutes
• Take a delicious bath
• Write to my guardian angels
• Take a walk depending on the crazy winter weather
• And now that I have a puppy, I can come home and play with him!

For me, paying attention to self-care makes a huge difference in how I get through the holidays. When I’m rushing around with everyone else and working long hours, my bah-humbugger does a humdinger on my attitude. I confess – I frequently want to puke when I want into a mall with Christmas tunes blaring! At that point, I stop and draw in a deep breath. (Remembering to breathe through the holidays is one of the best bits of advice I can offer!) I remember the gifts my sweet baby Mark left me, and I remember that I have a choice in how I respond to the chaos. I choose to be positive and grateful. Sometimes I have to ask for help to do that. Sometimes I need to retreat into a little solitude. Sometimes I need to blast some tunes and forget the world. And quite often, I breathe into the season, I slow way down as the world speeds up, and I rejoice that I’ve been gifted with this life.

If you’re struggling through the holidays this year for whatever reason, and you’d like someone to share your angst with, please feel free to connect with me. I understand how hard it is, and I would love to help.

If you are going through infertility or the grieving the loss of a baby, here are a couple of support resources that can help from StorkNet.

Love and peace ♥

Click here to visit the Support Stories ~ Strength from Within Round Robin!

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My Journey to Health

As I mentioned in my 51 Things, I’ve been eating disordered for a good chunk of my life.  A few days ago, I had an amazing soul therapy session with Megan Gala from The Love More Project.  My questions for Megan revolved around my eating issues.  I likened it to a knot inside me that several other issues were tangled around.   We discussed several things during the session which were very helpful and healing.

At the end, Megan encouraged me to document my journey with healing my eating issues through blogging.  It’s a scary thing to do this because when it comes down to it, it’s bare naked writing.  That’s enough to scare most people, myself included.  But I want to heal, and I’m committed to healing, and so . . . here goes . . .

This is something I wrote in November 2009 but never finished.  It’s a good starting point:

Turning 50 isn’t the end of the world.  My 50th passed without skipping a beat, no big deal.  I didn’t sprout a bunch of chin hairs or wake up with silver streaks in my hair.  I didn’t look like the crypt keeper either.  My health issues aren’t a result of turning 50 but of 6 years of poor self-care.  I seem to have hit a mind body disconnect at a time in my life when my mind and body truly need to be in sync.  How does someone used to exercising six times a week and eating healthfully get to be 30 lbs overweight with frequent heart palpitations and fears of heart attack just by walking up the stairs?  Why had I fallen so far and could I get up again and feel healthy?

Sure, you betcha.  It’s not Mt. Everest I’m attempting to climb, and as my 20-year-old reminds me, I KNOW what to do.  I just need to do it, but that felt so hard.

When I was a fitness fanatic, it was all about how I looked.  And that was motivation enough.

When I began having stress injuries, chronic back pain, and wheezing, I had to slow down.  It should have been a time for quality self-care by eating healthfully, resting, and working on that mind body connection.  Instead, sick of the obsession (and it was truly an obsession), I threw in the towel, ate everything and anything burying the stress and pain.  My physical pain did decrease but the wheezing was worse.

I was eventually diagnosed with asthma and put on medication.  A month later, I was hospitalized with pancreatitis and a gallbladder infection.  I had a near death experience, my gallbladder was removed five days later, and the complications kept me nearly bedridden for a month.  I lost 20 lbs during this time, not intentionally.  It was not my finest hour.

Since then, I’ve put the weight back on and then some.  My exercise has been hit and miss but rarely consistent.  My body CRAVES movement but I sit in front of a computer all day for work, too mentally exhausted for exercise or planning healthy meals.  That’s the excuse anyway – and it’s truly just an excuse.  I have many of them!

That was written ten months ago and little has changed except that my stomach is bothering me nearly every day now—hence my session with Megan.  What I need to do is:

1)       Take baby steps

2)      Write new rules for myself – the old ones do not serve me well such as I’m too lazy to do this

3)      Ask for help and support

4)      Allow myself to be nourished both physically and emotionally

My goal is HEALTH.  If I never lose a pound but I reach a place of feeling energetic and healthy, I will be satisfied!  I will not be counting calories, fat grams or anything else including exercise sessions.  I must start from a place of compassion.  Instead of saying I’m too lazy to do this, my new rule (and intention) is:

I can and will nourish my body.  When I nourish my body, I nourish my soul,  mental health and whole life, and  I open myself up to abundance.

Each night when I go to bed, I will celebrate the ways I nourished myself.  Maybe the only thing I’ll have to celebrate on some days is drinking a glass of water.  Maybe I’ll have lots of baby steps to celebrate.  Either way, it’s a celebration, not a judgment.

I plan to document my journey in this blog.  If you’re in a similar place, I’d love to hear from you.  If you’d just like to celebrate my baby steps along the way, THANK YOU.  I will need your support.

Namaste ♥

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